The first thing you will find when it comes to effective couples counselling is a view on relationships and how they can change. When you first met your partner you may have been at school, you were both young and carefree. Over the years you have married and had a family and the reality of daily life has changed you and you have noticed you are growing apart. This isn’t uncommon and over time relationships do change, its how you deal with the change and what you do to keep that flame alive and live together that matters.
It is very important at this point to note that couples counselling may not be for everyone and in some instances it may have an opposite outcome to what you were hoping for. There are some couples who find that their relationship cannot go anywhere and that separating and moving on with their lives is the best thing for them and their families. While this may not be the outcome you were hoping for, it is possible that with the help of therapy you identify that it is the best course of action moving forward.
Effective couples counsellors will work with you on changing how you behave with each other. In some instances, how you interact with each other changes and this can lead to problems. Focusing on good interactions and ensuring that you always take the other person into consideration, on both sides, can help you strengthen your relationship and enjoy a fulfilling life in the future.
One of the problems you may find within your relationship, is as things have started to strain between you, you have avoided any emotional contact with each other. Avoiding emotional contact can be a dangerous and slippery slope. With effective couples counselling you will learn how to reduce emotional avoidance and how to deal with issues head on, getting it off your chest and clearing the air quickly and effectively.
A couples counsellor will work with both of you to encourage communication. Effective communication is imperative to a successful and happy relationship. You need to be open and willing to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, even if you know what you have to say will upset them. Bottling things up is only going to result in a volatile fight later on, something you would rather avoid. Holding onto feelings results in anger, contempt and anger and you rather want to work on communicating your feelings and helping you manage your emotions each and every day.
In addition to this, you will find that with an effective couples counsellor you will learn how to strengthen your relationship. You will be given the building blocks to start making those essential repairs and learning new ways and techniques to deal with issues and come up with solutions. Every relationship requires some form of compromise on both sides, so knowing what you need to do and trusting your partner that they will make an effort is the only way to achieve success and enjoy a long term relationship moving forward.